Why is it that if you put a sock in the washing machine, it will inevitably come out inside out? But if you put the sock in the washing machine inside out, it will still come out inside out?
In mathematical terms:
f (sock, washing machine) = 1/sock
f (1/sock, washing machine) = 1/sock
I hate this almost as much as the little pools of water that sit on top of plastic cups when you pull them out of the dishwasher.
This is probably the most vexing problem of our generation.
Any suggestions faithful readers?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thank Me Later
You know how every once in awhile you find something on the internet that makes all the spam and pop-ups worth it b/c you found the funniest thing that ever happened on a video? I still remember finding the Grape-Stomping lady and showing everyone I knew. And who could ever forget Bubb Rubb and Lil' Sis (I literally cannot b/c my friend made me a shirt with Mr. Rubb on it)? Well, I'm pretty sure this guy Joel (not my ex-roommate, although I dearly wish this was him) is up in that echelon of internet videos.
Without further adieu:
"My name is Joel. I’m 47 married with two kids. My son is 19, my daughter 12. My wife teaches high school. I work as a reviewer of Long Term Care Facilities and other medical vendors. I like music, reading, French language, politics (left of center–but I’ll listen to any argument–got friends on the Right and the Left!). I’m not formally religious, but open and respectful of others beliefs about spiritual and philosphical matters."
Without further adieu:
"My name is Joel. I’m 47 married with two kids. My son is 19, my daughter 12. My wife teaches high school. I work as a reviewer of Long Term Care Facilities and other medical vendors. I like music, reading, French language, politics (left of center–but I’ll listen to any argument–got friends on the Right and the Left!). I’m not formally religious, but open and respectful of others beliefs about spiritual and philosphical matters."
Monday, February 16, 2009
Love Makes You Fat
I know, it's just a tad too late for the Valentine's Day holiday(?), but there's a new study out there showing that the stronger your relationship, the more you weigh.
Basically, the more likely you are to get divorced or terminate your relationship, the less likely you are to gain weight.
They cite to some other papers that conclude singles have more incentive to be healthy and fit in order to attract a mate.
I love economics, but this one falls in the category of "No Shit Sherlock."
Basically, the more likely you are to get divorced or terminate your relationship, the less likely you are to gain weight.
They cite to some other papers that conclude singles have more incentive to be healthy and fit in order to attract a mate.
I love economics, but this one falls in the category of "No Shit Sherlock."
Don't Piss On the Urinal Cakes
This morning I woke up on time for class. Made two fried eggs and some toast and downed approximately 24 oz. water and a hot green tea (another 10 oz.). Well, about an hour later I'm sitting in class and my bladder is screaming, but I couldn't leave because I was on-call today to answer the prof's Socratic b/s (for those that are interested the case was New Jersey v. T.L.O., 469 U.S. 325; a must-read for any would-be highschool drug dealers).
Anyway, I had to answer the firing squad questions all while I was about to piss my pants.
As soon as class was over, I b-lined it to the loo and had one of those "chipping porcelain" type of urinations. Well, I wasn't concerned enough with accuracy and started to hit the urinal cake. This refracted an un-Godly amount of piddle back in my direction and hit my pants leg. Funny thing was, I had just told my g/f and my friend that, "I had to pee so bad, I'm about to wet myself."
Luckily, no one was in there yet and so I just went into a stall and dried my leg off with some toilet paper. But let that be a lesson to all ye would-be Brett Favres of bladder-dumping. Don't just bomb it out there all willy-nilly with your willy. You must use accuracy and caution even under exigent circumstances.
Anyway, I had to answer the firing squad questions all while I was about to piss my pants.
As soon as class was over, I b-lined it to the loo and had one of those "chipping porcelain" type of urinations. Well, I wasn't concerned enough with accuracy and started to hit the urinal cake. This refracted an un-Godly amount of piddle back in my direction and hit my pants leg. Funny thing was, I had just told my g/f and my friend that, "I had to pee so bad, I'm about to wet myself."
Luckily, no one was in there yet and so I just went into a stall and dried my leg off with some toilet paper. But let that be a lesson to all ye would-be Brett Favres of bladder-dumping. Don't just bomb it out there all willy-nilly with your willy. You must use accuracy and caution even under exigent circumstances.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Why I Run
I realized yesterday, that every step I take on these long run days gets me a step closer to being the person I want to be.
I set a personal best Saturday by running 24 miles. My previous high had been 20 miles. By the 20-mile mark I thought, "hey, every step I'm taking right now is the farthest I've ever gone at one time."
My legs are trashed and tired. I'm dehydrated like a mofo. My face is wind/sunburned. My butt developed some sort of heat rash out there that's gonna be around for days. But I'll be damned if I don't feel absolutely great about myself.
Nobody close to me has ever run that far. It doesn't jump off the top of my head if anyone I know has ever run a marathon. I guess it's kind of rare.
Okay, enough self-aggrandizing. Ooh, wait, the best part was when I went to McDonald's for my post-run meal. I got a Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries, Large Powerade, and a 20 piece McNugget (for those of you that want to know, that's approximately 2380 calories; gross).
I'm making leaps and bounds towards my goal and it's still fun at this point because I'm progressing nicely. At some point, I'm going to hit a wall in my training and it will become difficult to be motivated or to find the time (I was running for around 4 hrs and 40 mins yesterday), but right now it's as exhilarating as ever.
Barring injury, I'm confident I will finish the ING Marathon in Atlanta in 6 weeks, but that's only the first big step of the journey.
I set a personal best Saturday by running 24 miles. My previous high had been 20 miles. By the 20-mile mark I thought, "hey, every step I'm taking right now is the farthest I've ever gone at one time."
My legs are trashed and tired. I'm dehydrated like a mofo. My face is wind/sunburned. My butt developed some sort of heat rash out there that's gonna be around for days. But I'll be damned if I don't feel absolutely great about myself.
Nobody close to me has ever run that far. It doesn't jump off the top of my head if anyone I know has ever run a marathon. I guess it's kind of rare.
Okay, enough self-aggrandizing. Ooh, wait, the best part was when I went to McDonald's for my post-run meal. I got a Double Quarter-Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries, Large Powerade, and a 20 piece McNugget (for those of you that want to know, that's approximately 2380 calories; gross).
I'm making leaps and bounds towards my goal and it's still fun at this point because I'm progressing nicely. At some point, I'm going to hit a wall in my training and it will become difficult to be motivated or to find the time (I was running for around 4 hrs and 40 mins yesterday), but right now it's as exhilarating as ever.
Barring injury, I'm confident I will finish the ING Marathon in Atlanta in 6 weeks, but that's only the first big step of the journey.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Why I've Hated the NBA Since '95
A good bit of my youth was spent playing basketball. I grew up idolizing the Celtics of the 80s. Their style of team play, hustling on defense, and selflessness defined how I understood to play the game. (A funny anecdote: when I moved to Georgia and played basketball my teammates would look at me funny because I'd set picks--get this--away from the ball! They didn't know why I was cluttering around them. Dumbasses didn't know to move and create space. They just let the point dribble, drive, shoot and then they'd crash the boards. Lame.)
During the 90s a shift happened. A shift I've always blamed on Michael Jordan. Yes, he was a tenacious competitor, a tremendous defender, and went for the kill better than anybody in sports in my lifetime. I respected Jordan, but his skill level allowed him to individually dominate games whenever he wanted. Something everyone else can only dream about.
Ball players of my generation grew up watching and aspiring to achieve that level of greatness. The problem came when nobody could duplicate his style and skill level. How many times have broadcasters and anchors coined somebody as "The Next Jordan?" There will never be another player like Jordan and I wish we'd stop searching. Enter Kobe and LeBron. Both are incredible athletes, but they have their own style of play. Let's let them be who they are, because they're doing a damn fine job at that.
Now, what really irks me is the discussion we've been hearing on SportsCenter and sports talk radio shows today. "Who rocked Madison Square Garden more this week?" Who cares? Why has this league become all about individuals? There's no question the NBA has been losing ground in America's consciousness, and I really think we hate the shift from a team game to individual competion. Not only has the game centered around individual match-ups, now it's about individuals that aren't even playing against one another. Lame.
I'm not suggesting all teams pattern their play after San Antonio. Most fans don't/can't appreciate their style of play. The Spurs are the basketball equivalent of Ambien. But, my hypothesis is that if every franchise played more team basketball, we'd see better competitions. And maybe we'd start watching again.
During the 90s a shift happened. A shift I've always blamed on Michael Jordan. Yes, he was a tenacious competitor, a tremendous defender, and went for the kill better than anybody in sports in my lifetime. I respected Jordan, but his skill level allowed him to individually dominate games whenever he wanted. Something everyone else can only dream about.
Ball players of my generation grew up watching and aspiring to achieve that level of greatness. The problem came when nobody could duplicate his style and skill level. How many times have broadcasters and anchors coined somebody as "The Next Jordan?" There will never be another player like Jordan and I wish we'd stop searching. Enter Kobe and LeBron. Both are incredible athletes, but they have their own style of play. Let's let them be who they are, because they're doing a damn fine job at that.
Now, what really irks me is the discussion we've been hearing on SportsCenter and sports talk radio shows today. "Who rocked Madison Square Garden more this week?" Who cares? Why has this league become all about individuals? There's no question the NBA has been losing ground in America's consciousness, and I really think we hate the shift from a team game to individual competion. Not only has the game centered around individual match-ups, now it's about individuals that aren't even playing against one another. Lame.
I'm not suggesting all teams pattern their play after San Antonio. Most fans don't/can't appreciate their style of play. The Spurs are the basketball equivalent of Ambien. But, my hypothesis is that if every franchise played more team basketball, we'd see better competitions. And maybe we'd start watching again.
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