Man Hides Dead Roommate Under Sofa For 10 Years

Silly Brits, always putting dead bodies under furniture...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/gloucestershire/8633012.stm

Some Freaky Shit Is About To Go "Down" At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Yeah, we've all heard the comparisons of Barrack Obama to past presidents. Perhaps the most apt was Slate.com's piece comparing Obama to JFK.

I say that mostly based on the fisting Barrack and Michelle do quite frequently.

I have video evidence of course.

Man With 3" Long Eyebrows Trims Them For Charity

Yes, I said, "a dude with 3-inch long eyebrows agreed to trim them for charity."

I mean, how do you get to that point? What point you ask? The point where they are so long that people are willing to donate $1,600 to charity to trim them off for you! He has a wife, family, friends, a business. How in the hell did they not do something about this earlier?

One of my parents' favorite past-times is when the light strikes my father's dome just right and my mother plucks his unwieldy earlobe hairs. Heck, my roommate, my lady caller, and I used to take turns shaving my other roommate's back hair about once every 3 weeks or so. Sure, we treated it with as much disdain ("nuh-uh, I did it two weeks ago; it's somebody else's turn!") as cleaning out the schmeg that collects in your shower drain. But if you let that pile up it's only going to be worse.

I wonder how many people would donate $1,600 to not clean out my girlfriend's shower drain? She sheds more than a Border Collie with an anxiety disorder an aging 80s butt-rocker with a meth problem.

Embedding Now the Latest Emo Craze

Okay, this is ridiculous. What the hell is wrong with people?

Funny line from the report, "Embedding offers a measure of comfort." Really, from what? Your lavish suburban lifestyles?

That's it, my kids are gonna be home-schooled and not allowed to watch t.v. Remember when the home-schooled kids were the socially awkward ones? Well now it's the other way around. Public school kids are getting all messed up in the head, while home school kids are winning the Heisman.

Who would you rather be the manifestation of your genetic material?



or this kid?

Clooney Rails About Prop. 8

File this one under the heading of: Who Gives a Shit?

Note to celebrities: Shut the fuck up. Nobody who matters seriously cares what you think. Yes, you are citizens and thus have the right to voice your opinion on political matters. However, just because you have an auspicious pulpit from which to speak, does not mean that what you have to say carries any weight or validity. I've written about this before:

May 13, 2007
So, I heard Green Day's latest "Working Class Hero" about a week or two ago. Didn't listen to the lyrics until this past Thursday. What kind of egalitarian, populist crap is this? I'd say they took about as much risk as Toby Keith when he wrote/sang "American Way" after the September 11th attacks. And let's be honest here, Green Day sold out the year the Expos got hosed, but still. Then I learned that it's a cover of the song written by John "Karl Marx" Lennon. Too bad Lennon didn't live long enough to see the fall of the Soviet Union. Too bad he didn't listen to any reputable economists.

This is an unfortunate side-effect of a free society. We allow entertainers to achieve stratospheric levels of celebrity and status. Long enough in the public eye, they start to become politically "active." We listen to the misguided policies they tout and falsely assume the talents that have made them popular to be testiment to their regulatory acumen.

Inequality and turbulence are a small price to pay for material progress. Like Joseph Schumpeter, one of the most accomplished and honored economists in history notes, "The capitalist achievement does not typically consist in providing more silk stockings for queens, but in bringing them within the reach of factory girls in return for steadily decreasing amounts of effort."

Who are factory girls if not working-class? Capitalism benefits those on the lower rungs of society.

*For the record, I am pro-Gay rights. There is no reason people should be restricted in declaring whom their benefits should go to. This is a flat-out violation of Equal Protection of the laws guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment. If marriage is a religious institution, then I'm okay with those institutions defining it however they wish. However, the benefits afforded to same-sex couples should not differ from their hetero-counterparts. And if marriage is a legal institution it cannot be narrowly defined.

Bank Robber Escapes on Inner-tube, Later Foiled by DNA Evidence

This bank heist is just too good to be true. The suspect posted a Craigslist add for work and asked that all candidates wear a certain outfit. The suspect then made the robbery wearing the same outfit. Suspect later escaped on an inner-tube, but got nailed on DNA evidence from his chewing tobacco. Amazing.